Happy Monday my lovelies!
The weekend has come and gone.
Now, we have to deal with the stress of work, lack of financial funds, family obligations, friend dates and our own personal relationships! I know, it seems like a lot! But you can do it!
I have come across the same feeling everybody is feeling…The Monday Blues. No Motivation Monday. Excessive Yawning Syndrome. The – I Want To Get Up And Do Something Fun, but No Energy To Do So – Mood.
So I kinda just wanted to write. But what to write about?! There’s so many things to think of. I look at my Blogging Schedule and see what I’m suppose to write about and, I just, don’t want to….is that bad??
I keep putting this pressure on myself. I have to be perfect (perfectionism is a bitch). My mother always told me, “You’re never going to be truly happy if you want everything to be perfect. Be happy with the imperfect.” And of course, she’s right.
My mother, is a very smart woman. Her life hasn’t always been all sunshine and rainbows. I admire her strength, her courage, her endless love, and her grace. She is what keeps the family going. All she wants to do is please her children. Take care of her husband. See her grand babies. Hug her own babies. Make sure my sister, brother, and I are alive and happy.
She wants us to be happy.
But, what do I want?
I want my mother to be happy. I want my mother to not feel sadness, or anger, or stress. I want her to feel loved to no extent. I want someone to say “you know…you don’t have to deal with this anymore, I got this”.
She deserves it.
Between my lack of financial funds, stress of relationships, a broken heart, sick animals, apartment issues, and unfortunately, no time to visit. She has remained the constant rock.
Don’t get me wrong, my dad is just as much of a rock; but in his own special way.
My mom has always been a working mom. A working mom of three kids and a husband. She would work her 8+ hour day, commute home, cook dinner, help us with homework, cleaned us and put us to bed. Then the day would repeat.
She taught me how a strong, powerful, independent woman should be. She taught me that I can never depend on someone. I’ll never need a person; I’ll always choose and want that person in my life. To make life beautiful. She taught me that no man will compare to my father (SO TRUE). She taught me that I’m never alone, even in my darkest times.
She has helped me to grow, to prosper, and to think. I have my own thoughts, my own believes, my own wishes. I know I can stand here on my own two feet, because of the strength my mother has instilled in me.
She taught me that in a world of hate, that I need to love. Love those, who need it the most. A simple act of love can give someone a breath of new air.
She taught me that it’s okay to let go. It’s okay to not have friends, because those friends aren’t true friends. She still tells me to this day, “Finding friends for a life time is extremely difficult. It’s okay to let go of the negative. It’ll leave more room for the positive.”
She always told me that, “no matter where you are or, what time it is. I am here for you.” She always kept a phone by her bed, just in case we called her at 11 PM needing to be picked up.
No matter my financial situation, or hers. She will help me regardless. I couldn’t pay a bill, so she did. I needed an oil change, so it was paid for. I needed home cooked meals, so she would make a feast just so I could take some home.
That door she lives behind is always open. Don’t knock, just come in.
When I had my heart broken, she was there. She called me every single day, texted me every day, to see how I was doing. She knew, what I had to do wasn’t easy. But, being treated the way I was, wasn’t right. Even in heart break, she continually told me, “You’ll never fully close to door on a person. You can always leave it a little open, and try again when the time is right.”
I see how my parents are together, and I’ve always told my boyfriend, “I want that”.
Now, their marriage is nothing close to perfect. They’ve been married since 1986, and have learned that life is constantly changing – good, bad, and ugly – and you have to change together.
My mom has felt pain in her heart. She has seen the sunshine in the clouds. She has felt the blessings poured upon her. She has never give up. She has always pushed through. She is a strong woman. She is my role model. And I am glad that I chose her to be my mom.
The love I have for my mom will never be taken away. I love you mom.
I know I’ll always be your favorite child.
**The featured image is of my mom and I. I have it framed in my living room.**